I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
