I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
