we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize