Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
