he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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