He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They have beer where we have blood.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
