Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize