there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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