either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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