Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
