I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
