You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
