Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
