He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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