Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
