My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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