I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
