Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
