So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
