I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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