I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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