She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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