is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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