That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
