I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
