I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
