If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
