i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
