Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize