Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Randomize