whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
4 words: hood of his car
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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