Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
