No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
