So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
