Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
