Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My balls are so social today.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
