i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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