i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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