Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
