Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i think my cat just said my name.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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