Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You are the jesus of drinking
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize