dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
