A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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