Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
