Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
