I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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