some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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