How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
