just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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