what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
