I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
