quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
