i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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