can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
