i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
