Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
