i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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