u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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