no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
