Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
