Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
