I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
