i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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