Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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