i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
