Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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