Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize