I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
