I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
