this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
