weddingsv make me drug and hornr
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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