just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
