I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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