wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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