is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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